Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Dirt cheap Photobucket type thing.

I've just found a use for this rarely updated blog! I'm going to use it to dump pictures on it so I can link them to forums and what have you. Clever, eh?


This doesn't mean everything in my life is Rosy, it just means nothing has riled me up enough to rant about it.
ttfn

Monday, February 11, 2013

Spam Emails for the Intellectually Bereft.


Recently I have been receiving many spam emails from (presumably) extremely optimistic con men. Here is one I received a few days ago. The title was NOTICE ALERT! and it was from F.B.I. here is the email in it's entirety:





ROBERT MUELLER III.
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR FBI.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION FBI.WASHINGTON D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION SEEKING TO WIRETAP INTERNET.

ATTENTION:Beneficiary,

We believe this notification meet you in a very good present state of mind and
health.The Federal bureau of investigation (FBI) Washington,D.C in conjunction with
some other relevant Investigations Agencies here in the United states of America have
recently been informed through our Global intelligence monitoring network that you
presently have a transaction going on with the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) as
regard to your over-due contract payment which was fully endorsed in your favor
accordingly. It might interest you to know that we have taken out time in screening
through this project as stipulated on our protocol of operation and have finally
confirmed that your contract payment is 100% genuine and hitch free from all facet
and of which you have the lawful right to claim your fund without any further delay.
Having said all this, we will further advise that you go ahead in dealing with the
Central Bank office accordingly as we will be monitoring all their services with !
you as

In addition, also be informed that we recently had a meeting with the Executive
Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria, in the person of Mr Sanusi Lamido and Mr.
Paul Jones along with some of the top officials of the ministry regarding your case
and they made us to understand that your file has been held in a base depending on
when you personally come for the claim. They also told us that the only problem they
are facing right now is that some unscrupulous element are using this project as an
avenue to scam innocent people off their hard earned money by impersonating the
Executive Governor and the Central Bank office.

We were also made to understand that a lady with name Mrs. Joan C.Bailey from OHIO
has already contacted them and also presented to them all the necessary
documentations evidencing your claim purported to have been signed personally by you
prior to the release of your contract fund valued at about US$8,000,000.00 (Eight
million united states dollars),and as soon as i have received an immediate response
from you do note that we shall begin with the process of the transfer of your funds
to your mailing or address.

We was further informed that we should warn our dear citizens who must have been
informed of the contract payment which was awarded to them from the Central Bank of
Nigeria, to be very careful prior to this irregularities so that they don't fall
victim to this ugly circumstance.And should in case you are already dealing with
anybody or office claiming to be from the Central Bank of Nigeria,you are further
advised to STOP further contact with them in your best interest and then contact
immediately the real office of the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) only with the below
information's accordingly:

NAME: MR.SANUSI LAMIDO
OFFICE ADDRESS: Central Bank of Nigeria,
Central Business District,
Cadastral Zone, Abuja, Federal.
Capital Territory, Nigeria.
Email: sanusilamido_67@superposta.com

NOTE: In your best interest, any message that doesn't come from the above email
address and phone number should not be replied to and should be disregarded
accordingly for security reasons. Meanwhile, we will advise that you contact the
Governor of the Central Bank immediately with the above email address and request
that they attend to your payment file as directed, so as to enable you receive your
contract fund accordingly. To this effect, you are required to reconfirm and
authenticate your given particulars below for certainty and onward processing and
release of you funds as we may not be held liable for any wrong payment.

FULL NAMES: __________________________________
CITY: _________________________
STATE: __________________________________
ZIP: ______________
COUNTRY________________________________
SEX: _______________
AGE: __________________
TELEPHONE NUMBER: _____________________

Ensure you follow all their procedure as may be required by them as that will further
help hasten up the whole procedures as regard to the transfer of your fund to you as
designated. Also have in mind that the Central Bank of Nigeria equally have their own
protocol of operation as stipulated on their banking terms, so delay could be very
dangerous. Once again, we will advise that you contact them with the above email
address and make sure you forward to them all the necessary information which they
may require from you prior to the release of your fund to you accordingly. All
modalities has already been worked out even before you were contacted and note that
we will be monitoring all your dealings with them as you proceed so you don't have
anything to worry about.

All we require from you henceforth is an update so as to enable us be on track with
you and the Central Bank of Nigeria. Without wasting much time,will want you to
contact them immediately with the above email address so as to enable them attend to
your case accordingly without any further delay as time is already running out.
Should in case you need any more information's in regard to this notification, feel
free to get back to us on this email so that we can brief you more as we are here to
guide you during and after this project has been completely perfected and you have
received your contract fund as stated.

Thank you very much for your anticipated co-operation in advance as we earnestly
await your urgent response to this matter.

Best Regards,
Robert S. Mueller III.
Federal Bureau of Investigation.
J. Edgar Hoover Building.
935 Pennsylvania Avenue,
NW Washington, D.C.
Email: robertmuell52@aol.com


Now no-one likes spam emails, but unfortunately due to having an email address with a virtually no-existent spam filter I have to put up with this kind of shit far too regularly. What I want to do though is to try to spam the spammers.The way I hope to achieve this is as follows, I am aware of a program that wanders lonely as a cloud across the internet, through blogs, Twitter, forums and such, with the express purpose of seeking out email addresses to send spam emails to. So with that in mind I occasionally post spam email addresses with the hope that some trawlerbot searching web pages for email addresses finds them and starts sending it's own shite to the original spammers. So basically what I would like to happen (even if I'll never know it) is for info@info.com gets a mail from B196C4D@pogar.org regarding Erectile Disfunction,admin1@mbe.it receives spam from peterjonson422@yahoo.co.uk regarding a lottery win (ficticious), kateclemons@Upike.edu sends emails to payment@westernunion.com & noreply@mail.ameriprise.com offering them an inheritance that all they have to do to claim it is give them their bank details. Finally I hope mariathurmbokata@hotmail.fr offers stubbed@jouxte.com & suzbd@yahoo.com all the pornographic fiction they can eat. But most of all what I want to happen is for a email harvesting bot to find these emails and start spamming the dung out of them and not me!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Hangover Post

The fact that I haven't moaned about anything on here for ages then one would assume I have no more shit to moan about. No, I just haven't been able to motivate myself enough to get worked up into a frenzy of vitriol and pettyness.

Now I don't want to brag but after one person read my whine about superglue, I recently found a pot of glue with a brush applicator! That is the power of the Blog! I am power!

I'm not really ranting about much today as I have quite an unpleasant hangover today and my thought processes aren't doing the best. But as this blog has received it's first follower, I felt compelled to write something!

Facebook games are getting on my nerves at the moment, and moreso my inability not not get sucked in and waste hours on end pissing about with them. I currently play about 4-5 browser games on FB and to be honest there is only one that I am actually ok with, and that it chess. Cityville, Backyard Monsters, Edgeworld and War Metal are all games that are designed to make you throw away litterally hours of your life feeding this, fighting that, tickling this so you can extract the juice out of that and so on. One quite clever little idea of the games designers is to give you the oppertuinity to pay them real money to buy shit little tokens to make your army/city/farm/hatstand so much more powerful than everyone else's. The most annoying thing about these games though, is the relentless invitations from other players to play the game, get a bit of cheese to help your megamouse or a gift of a shaven egret statue or whatever. I know I'm quite guilty of pointless requests but this is part of my plan to bring everyone into my circle of misery. The most aggravating thing about these games is how pathetically addicted I get to them, thus not doing anything constructive, just levelling up, in a virtual world where power = not having a life.

So here is my new updated list of things I hate:
1) Banks and bankers.
2) Superglue bottle manufacturers.
3) Facebook Browser Games (that make me look pathetic).

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Superglue!

Seriously WTF is up with superglue? I can't seem to own a bottle for longer than 3 weeks before the whole thing glues itself together! Turn the lid and the whole nozzle comes off! Its only a ploy to get me to buy more! In my whole life I have never been able use a complete bottle before the whole thing is fucked. I know there are more important thing to rant about (Libya, Robert Mugabe or the new Austrian Pervert who likes to keep it in the family) but this just pisses me off!

I suppose its just another case of a crap design to make sure customers keep buying it over and over again even though there is plenty more in the bottle, I just can't get the fucker out! I reckon (probably incorrectly) that I have probably bought 20 litres of superglue in the last 20 years and only managed to use 200ml.   Is it too much too ask that someone comes up with a bottle that doesn't get fucked up after 10 uses? I'm probably pissing in the wind here but if everyone in the world stood up and said no to these bottles, something would be done.

I have decided to rank my peevs in order of annoyingness as I blog so here they go:
1) Banks and bankers (greedy ones of course).
2) Superglue bottle manufacturers (I just can't blame superglue).

At the moment my list is a top two, but I am an extremely intolerant person so that list will engorge itself soon, oh yes it will!

Friday, June 24, 2011

My First Rant

Well this is my first smash the world and create a utopian paradise type society thing. I used to put all my anger into myspace but it simply can't take my issue anymore. The wuss.
Rather than put everybody off my blog straight away by mentioning the banks in the heading I have resisted and put them 3 lines down. Ha ha! THE BANKS!!! Well I'm not going to go on about what a bunch of cunts they are because of the lying and cheating and their out and out greed that has put everyone on a total downer. Thats too easy and probably been done before so I'm going to whine like a bitch about my own personal not-very-global experience.
At my place of work (can't mention it as my company has global non disclosure of anything that may or may not be harmful to the company's squeaky clean image) I am the chairman of the Sports & Social Club (or S.S. for short). Its not that I'm a total bad vibe merchant with a megalomaniacal tendencies, its just no-one else wanted the gig at the time.
So anyway we had to get a new signatory on the S.S. chequebook due to maternity leave and thats where the bullshit began. To get another name on the list we ALL had to renew our details, even those who hadn't changed them in the last 4 years. I'm a reasonably clued up sort of guy so I know its a utility bill and photo I.D that i need to bring in.
Attempt 1.
I go in with passport and and electricity bill. No good. The bill was 'too old'. Tossers.
Attempt 2.
I go in with passport and 3 week old refuse collection bill. No good. "We don't accept that type of bill. We do accept bank statements." I reply "You and all your kind (bankers) in an attempt to tug at the heartstrings of bleeding heart liberals -and to maximise profits- don't send out statements to 'save the fucking rainforests'!" Or words to that effect with less cursing. Cunts.
Attempt 3.
I didn't even go in I rang them up from work with passport and a statement from my mortgage lender (the same breed of bank I'm trying to get sorted with) which has my address and account number. No good. After an exhaustive conversation about why they can't take it and reiterating my bank statement jibe, Audrey the bank teller agreed to take my P60 as proof of my address (after much consultation with other bank monkeys while I listened to plinky plonky shit music over the phone). Wankers.
Attempt 4 .
Success! my p60 and passport were accepted even though I pointed out the the p60 was actually older than my original electricity bill. Ican only wonder that if the were such nazis about lending money to greedy property developers then the world banking system wouldn't be so fucked up right now. Pricks.
So there you have it my first bitch about stuff which may or may not become a regular thing depending on how shit my life goes. i may create another blog called Happy Things Happen To Happy people or something, but who is going to want to read that?